i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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