found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
