he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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