i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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