i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
