Jerry, you need to find god
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
