Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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