I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
