Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
