i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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