I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
