please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize