Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize