Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
As shirtless as possible
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
