Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
