did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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