My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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