So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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