Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
