His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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