Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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