Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
