I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Randomize
