I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just forgot I was standing up.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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