there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize