my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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