Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
