This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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