Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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