so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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