just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
