I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
