well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
