I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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