So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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