the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
