i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
