so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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