a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
