She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
