what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
