if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
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