It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
