I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize