Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
