If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
