I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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