I hate all girls vehemently.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
