i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
