Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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