Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
