youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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