My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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