the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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