it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
