I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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