Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
