the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
